Preparation For Nothing
by Nnix Ame
Summary: She looked at her marbles on the nightstand. There were four, the fifth having shattered not long ago. As silly as it was, a part of her wondered if it was the one she had looked into that day. oneshot


Anna sat on her bed, her back pressed against her headboard. Her blanket was slipping off her bed, half of it on the floor where her pillow laid forgotten. She didn't know if it was her that put it there or if just fell in her sleep.

She didn't know what time it was. It was still dark out with the street lamps shining brightly so she knew it wasn't close to morning yet.

She pulled her legs up, loosely wrapping her arms around them as she press her forehead against her knees. She was tiered but couldn't sleep. She felt restless, her mind constantly racing from one thought to the next.

She looked at her marbles on the nightstand. There were four, the fifth having shattered not long ago. As silly as it was, a part of her wondered if it was the one she had looked into that day.

"_If you stay by his side...you won't live very long."_

She closed her eyes, trying to block out those words she had said when they first met.

She knew it would happen eventually. They both did. Neither mentioned it yet it always hung between them. There were times when Anna could feel her heart grow heavy, when the realization of just what it meant would hit her. But that person was always there to sooth her, help calm the distress she felt.

Now that it really has happened, she felt-

Should she have told someone? Mikoto or Izumo?

No. She knew that in the end, there was nothing she could have done. That person had decided to stay by Mikoto's side despite her warning. They knew what would happen if they remained here and what would happen if they left. It was the most selfish and unselfish thing they could have done.

She knew this, yet she still had to fight down the pressure she felt burning in her chest.

Anna left her room, pausing in from of Mikoto's room. She could feel the whirlwind of emotions on the other side of the door. She didn't see him the all day he locked the door. She knew his power was already becoming more unstable, his nightmares worse than ever.

She wanted to do something.

She knew she couldn't.

She couldn't change-

Once she was downstairs her breath caught in her throat. Sounds of laughter and shouts filled her ears, a gentle melody falling around her. She closed her eyes, and the burning in her chest was growing more and more-

_"Anna."_

Her eyes snapped opened.

On instinct, she looked to the couch in the corner. When she saw the thin blanket laying folded at the end it, she all but ran to retrieve it and held it to her chest, her hands gripping it as though it were a lifeline. The burning feeling was becoming weaker. Calmer...

_"…do you want to be a clansman, too?" _

_"Ah-it's okay, it's okay. Right now, that was probably something like a power overflow, but that's really common. Anna's just now wasn't anything big." _

_"Why are you apologizing? You were right. If you think you want to run, you should run." _

_"Don't waver, okay?"_

"Tatara..." Her hands shook. She could feel the blanket slowly get wet as her eyes burned.

"_It's fine, It's fine. Everything will work out somehow!"_

She thought of Tatara's words, of his smile. She thought of him reaching out to her before she became a clansman, of him showing her his many hobbies and expanding her world more than she thought was possible. So many things she tried and discovered because of him and now-

Now...

"Tatara...Tatara..." She pulled the blanket tighter around her, repeating his name over and over. For a moment, she thought she could feel his warmth, his protective and comforting embrace.

She wanted to hear those words again, just one last time. She wanted to feel the calm he always managed to bring to her heart.

She curled up on the couch, pressed the fabric against her mouth as she chocked back the sob that threatened to tear her apart.

She knew this was coming. She thought she had prepared for the pain it would bring.

She was wrong. Nothing would have made this easier.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:**_Format on here doesn't look as good as it did on ao3...anyway, Wanted to do something about Anna grieving for Totsuka since I don't really see much as I'd like for it. I wanted to try to get her frustration over knowing it would happen this whole time while trying to suppress it...if that makes sense. Not sure how well I did with that.


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